I was recently in conversation with a number of different clients about the mind-body connection, and it was because of those conversations, and our ongoing curiosity together, that led me to write down some current thoughts on the subject. As an individual on my own journey of growth and wholeness, I am continually intrigued by how the brain, body, and conscious sense of identity intersect, and furthermore play into the process of healing, and a greater connection with our truest selves.
As a therapist, a woman, and a human, the awareness of “the body” as an essential element of life is not new. And yet, as I began venturing further into my work as a holistic therapist, meaning that I view each individual as an integrated whole composed of mind, body, soul, spirit and the relationships that fill their lives, I have been profoundly struck by the research around the body as a vital element in the process of healing. Through exposure to, and experience with a variety of individuals in my clinical work however, I have been equally impacted by how often the idea of acknowledging the body as a source of information in the therapeutic process is met with confusion, hesitation, or trepidation.
We of course all know that we have a body, for our physical being is the only way that we have existence on this earth. However, many of us have such complex histories and relationships with our bodies that we would rather pretend that they are not there at all. We do this through a variety of means. We distract from physical sensations we deem as unpleasant, we numb through dissociation, or medication, and we over-ride our “feelings” by beating our bodies into submission through sheer will or another.
These experiences are entirely understandable, because as human beings we inevitably lean towards that which is pleasurable and avoid that which is painful. It is an adaptive skill in moments of extreme stress or chaos for us to be able to essentially “shut off” these feelings in order to move forward. Through a biological survival perspective, it was prudent for our early ancestors to be able to put aside their feelings of discomfort in order to be able to run for their lives, fight off their enemies, or focus on a critical task at hand, if it meant potentially saving their life and the lives of their loved ones. It is a unique skill that has ensured our survival and therefore we say “Thank God for our fight or flight response!”
The issue here is that this adaptive coping becomes unhelpful when our bodies never get to experience the relief they need after the perceived threat or crisis has passed. In moments of extreme stress your body jumps to action on your behalf. It activates the sympathetic branch of your central nervous system and sends neurochemicals like adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol rushing through your body. These chemicals stimulate your internal organs and muscles for action; churning or tightening your stomach, increasing heart rate and breathing, slowing digestion, and tensing muscles. These experiences are good and normal, and yet without a proper release of these chemicals through some kind of physical movement or expression, they remain trapped in your body.
The sick feeling in your stomach when your spouse is angry, or the clenching of your jaw when navigating a problem at work, or the internal shakiness that keeps you up at night are all results of these chemicals being released in and felt by your body. These messages or “feelings” of your physical self are to indicate that you are being impacted and activated by the world around you. Not only that, but the neurochemicals can also be released by simply thinking anxious thoughts or ruminating on stressful experiences. Your mind and body are intricately connected, and how your brain makes sense of what is happening in and outside of you will inevitably result in a stress response. This natural process is only an issue when the feelings are not acknowledged, the fight or flee never happens, and the chemicals that were preparing you for action have nowhere to go, therefore remaining active in your body.
When I see clients that are experiencing the same feelings in the safety of the therapy room as they did when the trauma was actively happening, I say “That makes sense”. The body, having never released the stress, still believes they are in danger, therefore is still sending those neurochemicals, resulting in the same feelings. Many clients experience confusion, shame, and exhaustion because of this. Their cognitive self knows that they are now in a safe room, and a completely different time of their life, and yet they will often feel that something is “wrong with them”, when in fact their body is doing exactly what it knows how to do – prepare to keep them as safe as possible.
Post-traumatic stress is a disease of time. The body is still stuck in the past, believing it must keep up the warning signs until it experientially learns it is safe once again.
Like I had previously mentioned, we are wired to avoid that which is unpleasant, uncomfortable, or painful, and these unreleased, unprocessed somatic experiences are all that and more. Because our bodies are us, they hold the impacts of these stressful life experiences and therefore carry the stories of our lives within them.
I cannot tell you how many clients I have seen who are entirely ravaged by the impacts of the painful experiences of their lives that are still living and active in the sensations of their bodies. They may now have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, or depression, or chronic pain etc. and are completely confused because their internal experiences no longer match their external life circumstances. The stress, crisis, or trauma where these feelings originated have passed, but because they weren’t acknowledged and expressed in a healthy way, in a safe environment post-trauma, they continue to live on inside as if the trauma were still happening. Because these individuals cannot point to something currently in their lives and say “Ah, this is what’s going on and therefore this is why I’m feeling this way”, they are baffled by their own internal activation.
When I then explain that because we are integrated, whole beings whose physical self is inseparable from our mind, emotions, and internal sense of consciousness, they begin to understand that to heal oneself must inevitably involve addressing the body. By beginning to lean into the feeling, even if it is unpleasant, uncomfortable, or painful, we begin to become reacquainted with ourselves and the stories of our past. This is not easy, and often requires being accompanied by a safe other (therapist, friend, parent etc.) into the dark moments we would far rather forget. If we were small, alone, or helpless in the moments where our bodies felt they had to fight for us, we may need to be companioned all the more, for no one should have to re-feel through those experiences alone.
This is often where I enter into the process with my clients. They come in for counselling because they are experiencing symptoms, and impacts in their lives, and are unsure what to do. After explaining some of what I have outlined here, and ensuring safety in our therapeutic relationship, we then slowly begin to unpack the moments of distress that they are still unconsciously “holding onto”. We do this through talking things through cognitively, allowing feelings to surface emotionally, and tuning into the sensations that arise somatically in connection to those moments. In the safety of the therapy room, the experience for my clients is that I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, and I can handle it. For our nervous systems that have experienced moments of terror, helplessness, loneliness, shame, or dread, there is nothing more comforting than to know we are seen, safe, and not alone.
We are whole beings and our bodies carry the story of our lives. Remember, our physical being is the only way that we can have existence on this earth, and it is inseparable from our internal sense of consciousness. Therefore, our bodies are us! They give us information about our lives, and a sense of who we are in this world, and the greatest news is that we can come to know our bodies and ourselves in a new way. If your body has historically not been as safe place for you to dwell, than please know that there is healing available, so that you can own all of you in a beautiful, authentic way. The process of re-connection or “embodiment” may be filled with memories, feelings, and possible discomfort, and yet you can know that you are not alone along the journey towards greater congruence and harmony of Self.
May we all, women, men, young, old, enlightened, searching, and beautiful come into a deeper knowledge that we are our bodies, and we are dearly worth knowing.
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