I can’t say exactly what it is, but recently I’ve found myself reinvigorated and reawakened to who I am and why I set my course on becoming a counsellor in the first place. It’s been absolutely incredible and inspiring to come back to the origin point of why and how I do this work.
The short answer is, it’s about worthiness.
Most of you won’t know this, but there is a story behind how I came to be sitting in that therapist’s chair across from you.
It started with a journey of exploration after I graduated from high school, and had recently found a faith that was genuine and alive in my life. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, or what educational pursuits would be a fit, and so I went away for 6 months to a training school of sorts, in which I was stretched and grown in a variety of unexpected ways. I was working in 3rd world countries for half that time, in the slums of the Philippines and Cambodia, tending to the women and children who were in desperate positions of suffering.
As I worked with these individuals, I remember thinking “If these people don’t have opportunity for healing, and connection with who they were created to be, they’ll likely continue to be victimized”. This was absolutely heartbreaking.
From then on I knew I wanted to be part of the work of healing; creating a safe holding space for those to process through the wounding they’d experienced and reconnect to their True Selves.
I, of course, went on to get educated in the work of counselling, and have been practicing as a therapist now for 6 years post-grad.
In that time I have already had the opportunity to sit with a wide range of individuals, from all walks of life, and with many varied stories and experiences. The one thing they have in common however, is that they are each intrinsically worthy and valuable simply because they exist.
This perspective does not originate with me, it is not novel or complex, and in fact I believe it is a truth that resides in the very core of each of us, if we are so brave as to claim it for our own.
Many of us have been raised in homes, societies, cultures and religions that to some degree or another have placed expectations and qualifiers on us regarding our worthiness. If we could be more educated, wealthy, attractive, powerful and influential, strong, unique, mentally healthy, talented, popular, and obedient, maybe then, and only then, would we be fully accepted as enough. We compare ourselves to others and feel we come up short, and yet, what if the person your comparing yourself against is doing the exact same comparing and they too feel they don’t meet the mark?
The climb up the invisible ladder of “enoughness” is in fact endless if we play into this perspective.
But what if... you were already enough? What might happen if we flip the script and instead of hustling for our worthiness we claim it as our starting position? What if our growth and goals were pursued from a desire to express our full selves and to gift the world with who we were always made to be, rather than from a place of trying to prove to the proverbial judge that we in fact qualify?
How might your inner world be changed if this were so? I work with so many individuals who have such harsh inner critics who constantly berate them for simply being human. Their negative self-talk can be so loud and all-consuming that self-hatred is the only reasonable result. This is a tragedy.
I have felt recommitted as of late to the mission of a worthiness revolution. To help as many humans as I can, come to see, feel, and understand their own beauty and sacredness. The process of embodying this philosophy starts first with belief, or what some might call faith. A belief that I am no better, worse, or different, fundamentally speaking, than any other person who has, does, or ever will walk the planet. It’s a claiming of your true nature as beloved that starts the internal shift in identity. From here, we must see ourselves as we truly are, worthy and valuable sons and daughters, therefore making anything that taints or distorts our integrity as such, an outlier that doesn’t belong. It’s like mining for diamonds, chiseling away at the rock that disguises the gem within. This is the refinement process.
In therapy we work to heal old wounds, but we also aim to course correct thought, feeling, and behaviour that doesn’t align, or isn’t congruent, with who you truly are. To chisel away at what’s no longer fitting, we need to know what we’re searching for, otherwise you’ll keep mining to no end, or you’ll toss away what’s “diamond quality” within you, not understanding it’s true worth.
This metaphor is one that I’ve used often to describe one of my favorite things to do as a therapist - mine for the gems i.e. Reveal, highlight, and celebrate the beautiful inner qualities and resources I see within my clients.
So I ask you, “who do you think you are?” What do you believe not only about yourself but about others as well? Are we all doomed to perpetual unworthiness, is there a benchmark that someone out there has actually met, or is there another possible answer to consider about our very nature that perhaps can create freedom, healing, and revival for our hurting souls? Food for thought :)
Love, your faithful therapist and fellow human.
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